If the shoes fits wear it, if the shoe doesn't fit...wear it anyway.

We were eating dinner the other night. Sarah, my sixteen year old surprised us by speaking: "Why are you wearing my shirt?"she asked Anna, who is eleven.

Anna shrugged her shoulders, "It was in my drawer." That explained everything. So, Heather, who is five foot eight, looked across the table and asked, "Why are you wearing my jeans?" to Sarah who is only five foot three inches tall.

Sarah looked sheepish, admitting that they had been way too long, and she had to keep pulling them up all day. "Uh, they were in my drawer?" she answered---everyone immediately turning to look at me.

So, fine. I was distracted one day while putting away laundry. But they were missing the main point. First, when you open your drawer and see something that you don't recognize, or isn't yours in there, it doesn't mean you are obligated to wear it. And second, if you put on a pair of pants, pulling them up to your arm-pits and they still don't fit, DON'T WEAR THEM! It's not that hard, really, is it?

But if it makes them feel better to blame the person who washed, folded and put away the clothes (albeit in the wrong place) I'm okay with that. As long as they realize they are the geniuses who spent the day pulling their pants up...

The small things

The car in front of me stopped at the drop off in front of the school. Several kids got out of the car, if possible, each one looking more sullen and lifeless than the one before.

"That must be the happiness mobile," I commented to my daughter Anna. Seeing the blank expressions on the kids' faces and the slump of their shoulders as they shuffled towards the school, Anna looked at me for an explanation.

"That car must suck all the joy and life out of everyone who rides in it---not allowing any happiness to leave," I surmised. How else could I explain the children exiting the vehicle in front of me?

Then I suddenly realized: That was probably exactly what my own kids looked like getting out of my car! I panicked. "Anna---Smile!" I commanded. "When you get out of the car exude happiness!"

"What does exude mean?" she asked. I told her that she could think of it like radiating happiness from every pore. "You want me to sweat happiness?" she asked giving me a look. (Pretty much, whatever it takes so I don't have to feel like I have sucked all the joy from your soul...)

I'm not sure my pep talk helped much, but I did get a lopsided smile from her when she got out of the car. Which is better than nothing!

Small victories

Family prayer, sigh. I can't really complain, I mean all of the kids show up at 8:45pm each night. It's just that no matter how many times we ask our oldest daughter, Sarah to speak a little louder when she prays, we get no improvement. I know, I sound like I'm being critical but take last week for example.

It was Sarah's night to pray and she shoved her face so far down into the couch that we honestly couldn't hear a word she was saying. In fact, she got up and left while the rest of the family stayed kneeling around the couch. Finally we heard her bedroom door slam and looked up to realize she had not only finished praying, but left! We decided that we definitely had to do something...

My husband got an idea and could barely wait until this week when it was Sarah' s turn to pray again. As we finished reading scriptures and kneeled down, he casually asked whose night it was. When Sarah said it was her night, he kept a straight face and handed her the microphone he had set up next to the couch. And luckily everyone, including Sarah busted out laughing.

"Great, amplified muttering," Heather commented. But amplified muttering or not, at least we knew when she was finished praying.

Something is amiss...

Some friends and I run in the park behind the high school every morning. Now that school is back in session, we undercover mom's are back in business. We are naturally nosy and involved in everyone else's business: who are those kids not in class, why are those kids going into the woods, etc. If you think about it, we really are perfect for our self-appointed task.

Today we saw a couple of boys slink off into the woods behind the park after school had started along with a very strong, bitter smell. After our first lap, we called OJ (Officer Jamie) to let her know the situation. We have called her a lot in the past, in fact her number is on our speed dial.

We continued exercising and one friend commented that sin was stupid. "Yah, and those kids aren't too bright either," I added. I mean if you think about it, they had a car and were skipping school to smoke pot. So, they drove to the park behind the high school filled with people.

"Plus, they could have at least picked a decent day to skip," another friend added, referring to the light drizzle and cold weather. The nasty dope smoke just hung in the air and coated the back of my throat and tongue, burning my nose.

As we finished our last lap a second police car pulled into the parking lot. Usually we liked to stick around and watch the drama unfold. Today we hurried to our cars to drive away. We were covered with incriminating smoke and didn't want to take any chances that the dog in the back of the newly arriving police car would sniff in our direction. I tried not to let my tires squeal on the way out of the parking lot as I raced home to take a shower. Another day of successful undercover work...

The truth hurts.

I remember having to take one of my little kids with me to a doctor appointment. When the doctor came in, my child rummaged through my pile of clothes, and ran around the room waving my underwear. "Look, my mommy wears WHITE underwear." It's safe to say that I have been embarrassed by my children.

Owing me, you would think they would cut me a little slack. Not so. I walked through the high school parking lot to deliver a cell phone and pencil bag to my kids, which they had forgotten this morning. Imagine my surprise when, instead of gratitude, I was met with embarrassment and panicked looks for me to quickly leave.

It was true that I hadn't expected other kids to still be sitting in their cars---the couple in the car next to my kids stopped making out to see what parent was walking by...but it wasn't like I was wearing my pajamas. And it wasn't like I always go hang out by their car in the morning (I did drop off a forgotten lunch last week). So, feeling the sting of rejection and knowing that I was no longer the "cool mom," I took my wounded pride and limped back to the park to exercise.

I often do things to embarrass my children, but it is always on purpose. It is much harder to find that my kids are embarrassed by me. I don't know how to feel about that. Whether to go back tomorrow in my bathrobe and slippers carrying a large bottle of deodorant to give them, forget about the whole thing or to cry. Gotta love them.

No flash photography allowed

Heather came home from school in a tizzy. "I have finally figured out why they don't allow cameras at school," she informed me.

Well I know the answer to that one. Seemed simple enough anyway, they don't want kids taking pictures of tests and giving the answers to other kids. But this was Heather, so okay, I'll bite.

"If we had cameras at school, someone might take pictures of the food and send it to the health department," she declared with disgust.

They must have had a bad lunch today at school. Remind me not to let my kids have cameras at the dinner table...

What's on your mind?

My son was composing music last night on the computer. He let me listen to what he'd written and it was amazing. No, I mean really mind boggling, as in, he shouldn't be able to be doing this kind of stuff, amazing. "So, this music is just in your head?" I asked him. "Well, Yah," he acted like it was obvious.

Hey, that kind of stuff is not in MY head. It made me stop and think. What exactly is going on in my head? No, really. I'm not joking. Thinking about it I came up with Lists. I have files and files of lists in my brain. Lists of things I need to do, buy, save, clean, etc. You name it, I have a list filed away about it.

I guess I figured that was how everyone else's brain worked. Not so. I asked my daughter Heather what was in her brain. "The periodic table," she replied. Okay. I wouldn't have guessed that. So now I have another list started, the things people think about...fascinating!

So, what's in YOUR brain!