is anyone out there???

How I've Failed my Children---Let me count the ways

My daughter cornered me in the kitchen one day. "Did you know that worms are both male and female?" she asked. "Yes," I told her---I remember reading that somewhere.

"WHAT! And you never told me!" she asked very upset. Hum, I thought about all the things I tried to remember to tell my kids over the years (wipe then flush; don't put the empty milk carton back in the fridge; deodorant is your friend; if it came out of your nose don't eat it) no, I guess I never did tell her about the worms.

"But you figured it out on your own," I tried to console her. "I wasted the past hour looking at this worm trying to figure out whether it was a girl or boy so I would know what to name it." She complained holding up a jar with the worm inside for me to see. She continued: "But did you know that worms have five hearts and they absorb oxygen through their skin and that when they go to the bathroom it is called..."she paused.

"Dirt?" I offered. "NO! It starts with a "C" I think," she said still thinking. "Crud?" I supplied? "NO!" and off she went, most likely to the computer to look up more fascinating facts on worms and to find the technical name for worm poop. I, on the other hand, stood in the kitchen and wondered what other important things I knew, but had forgotten to tell my kids...