is anyone out there???

Dangling pearls before swine and such

I never thought I would be that kind of mom. You know, the kind of mom that is annoyingly overprotective. Actually, I wasn't that way until my girls turned old enough to start going to dances and date.

A couple of months ago there was a formal dance at church and my daughters had been looking at dresses on the Internet. My oldest daughter, Sarah, is more of a hoodie/hair in a pony tail/no make-up kind of girl and hadn't shown much interest in going to the dance and even less interest in finding a dress. So, I was very surprised when she had printed out a copy of a dress she'd found and left it by the computer. Being an expert in teenage code, I interpreted this to mean, "Mom, I found this awesome dress, I just love it, see what you think!" I asked her if she wanted the dress and she said grunted. She definitely liked it, so I went ahead and ordered it.

The night of the dance was a mix of emotions. The girls were beautiful. That was the problem--Sarah had dusted off her contacts, dug out her make-up and curled her hair. I started having trouble breathing, is this what a panic attack feels like? I could just picture the guys noticing them, probably for the first time. Sarah didn't have on her baggy hoodie and she actually had a nice figure (when did that happen). I needed to remember to buy more hoodies...

Heather who is only 15 years old, had her make-up done by Miss West Virginia at a spa. When I'd gone to pick her up I hadn't even recognized her. She looked like she was 20 years old and was gorgeous. Yes, I was definitely feeling some chest pains. Miss West Virginia asked if we wanted to stay and have Heather learn how to put the make-up on herself? No, I didn't want Heather to know how to look that good on a regular basis. It was better if she looked 15, it was safer that way. I wondered if it would be rude to have her wash her face before we left? As we left I did realize that I was feeling a tad paranoid--did the men in the elevator know it was probably illegal to even look at my daughter? I was thinking I needed some medication to calm down or maybe a gun. Yes, a gun.

So, you see my problem. I finally understood what was meant about dangling pearls before swine. My daughters are more precious than pearls and I want to keep them safe. (Actually, I want to lock them in a closet and not let them go to the dance or anywhere else for that matter. I know it sounds cruel, I will find a large closet...)I also want them to go to the dance and have fun.

After several deep breaths, we left for the dance as I reminded myself that they are smart girls and were capable of making their own decisions. And one last thing, I'm sending around a petition for legalizing arranged marriages if you want to sign...