is anyone out there???

Public humiliation 101

It was that time of the week---my daily trip to Walmart. I put it off as long as I can. There are few things I enjoy less, than going to Walmart. Today it seemed especially crowded, in fact at one point I was literally being chased by three people down the aisle of the store. Anyway, as I entered the store and saw the massive people, I considered going around and asking various customers when they were planning on coming back to Walmart again next week, so I could try to schedule around the masses, but when I really thought about it---it seemed too complicated. It was easier to just get into "THE MODE."

"The Mode" is where you keep your eye focused on the goal---"must get out of Walmart as quickly as possible." When I get going, I can move pretty quickly---throwing food into the cart, running through the aisles...

That reminds me---Where was I? Right, at one point, I noticed I was being chased down the aisle by three women. I'm not exaggerating. I could tell they were chasing me, because one of the women was yelling, "Hey you, with the black coat" (I was wearing a black coat) and another woman grabbed my arm, as she finally caught up with me. I was pretty shocked. Up to this point, Walmart hasn't been a contact sport and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to respond with a smile or take a defensive stance.

I tried a smile first---it was three against one. The third lady, who happened to be an employee, finally caught up with us, and stopped to catch her breath. Really, I hadn't been going THAT fast. "You took the wrong cart," she announced loudly, pointing at me accusingly.

"No," I insisted. Then I looked at my cart. REALLY looked. Underneath the crackers and juice I'd just thrown in, as I ran down the aisle, the cart was completely filled with containers of salt. Not my cart. Oops. I grabbed my items and wished I could disappear, apologizing profusely as I slunk away.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I could have found my cart. I did eventually...two aisles away. You know how at the store you run into the same people over and over again. It was like that today. I had a cross between amused: "Oh, so you finally found your cart," smirks and pitying: "Oh, you finally found your cart," shakes of heads...

Can I just say that I couldn't get out of Walmart fast enough? Have I always been such a ditz and never realized it before, or have I been this way all along and am just now starting to notice...