is anyone out there???

A walking freak show.

The scouts had their fundraising yard sale last weekend. I helped to get things set up and put several "unmentionables" in the trash. I figured no one wanted to buy used underwear, etc. Walking past one of the tables a little later, I noticed that someone had taken the stuff I'd thrown away out of the trash and put them back onto the table. Ugh! I went back to re-throw them away.

A group of men turned to look at me and ask about a price the second I picked up a humongous hot pink lacy bra. Of course. It always happens this way, doesn't it? And there is no way to hide the fact that I'm holding a super-sized bra that probably glows in the dark. So, I smile and say, "I guess it isn't my size."

It always seems I find myself doing stupid stuff like this. Unfortunately one of the men also saw me in another embarrassing situation. I think of it as the "library incident." Actually, I try not to think about it.

I was in the church library looking for a picture. I bent down and stood up quickly and whoosh! Faster than you could say "wardrobe malfunction" my skirt was around my ankles. Later the man who was unfortunate enough to be with me at the time pulled me aside and assured me, "I was NEVER in the library. I Never saw anything." I think he was more traumatized than I was. And I was pretty traumatized. I think I wore a safety pin at the top of my skirt for extra added security for several weeks after the incident...

I wish I could figure out why some people seem more prone to witness my off moments. It's too bad I can't spread them out evenly for everyone to enjoy, rather than a select few who must think I'm the biggest freak show on earth.