is anyone out there???

The first step is always the hardest.

Well I did it. It's probably the hardest thing I have to do each year. I bought a bathing suit. No, I didn't actually try it on or anything crazy like that--that would be asking too much. But I did buy one. That has to count for something.

I don't know what it is about bathing suits. I guess it's the fact that no matter what I tell myself or how delusional I am, as soon as I'm in a bathing suit and looking in the mirror I can see nothing but the truth. Reality can be harsh. And it's not that I even care what anyone else thinks about how I look...

The more I think about it though, being self conscious is really a blessing. I've decided that if I had a tiny, skinny body I would probably never want to wear clothes---ever. I would probably be tempted to wear one of those, gasp, skimpy bikinis as well. So, thank goodness I have a frumpy, saggy body. If nothing else it has made me MODEST! And for that I can be thankful.